Dancing with Danger
by AutumnSiren29
Summary: In memory of my dear friend Deborah Williams, who died on Thanksgiving this year. She will be missed more than she knows. How does one deal with themselves when their life was set from the time they were born. How do they live when others forgot to help? How do they know to move on when no one showed them how to do so? WARNING: Self-inflicted harm and Suicide, implied slash.


_Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with the Harry Potter Universe nor do I own any of the lyrics to the song 'Tourniquet' by Evanescence used here. They belong to others who are much more brilliant than I, and so therefore are much richer than me. I merely borrow their ideas and play with them from time to time._

**_Dancing with Danger_**

It was a time to celebrate for most people. It was a time of relief for those who were spared from death or fighting in the war. It was now a time to begin again with those who made it out alive and to laugh of things which brought joy to their hearts.

But for one man, it was a time of remembrance and pain.

It was he who had vanquished the evil these people were freed of and now they had all but forgotten him. His friends were concerned of course, but they had also moved on with their lives.

He did not begrudge them of it; but how does one go from 'kill or be killed' all of their life and then expect to know how to move on when the one you killed was the one you wanted back most but in a different form.

He denied his relationship with his friend's sister. He told her he 'thought they needed to see others.' She held onto hope that he would be back, but after five years of longing for him; she too accepted he wasn't returning and she needed to find another.

It had been ten years now since the end of the war and Harry was a broken man. He was famous and rich to those who wanted a taste of his lifestyle, but the man he was now had never allowed them close enough.

He kept walking further towards his destination and his mind set.

* * *

Another hour had passed and it had begun to rain heavily amid the chilling wind this December. One man was walking through a tiny village towards a graveyard and he was walking there alone. There was no one else out now due to the inclement weather, but that had suited him just fine.

As he came upon the grave before him that he came to see, most would have been surprised he had not come to see his parents or other ancestors. It would seem he had only person he visited any longer.

Harry looked at the grave that he had been given. For such a good rival, his grave had been a disservice to who he was. He had only been allowed burial on his insistence as the Ministry wanted to cremate his body to ensure he never could possibly walk the earth again. It had been his insistence that he was gone and could be safely buried.

"Hello Tom, today marks the ten year anniversary of the day I defeated you. I feel the grave you have been given does not do you justice but even my power is limited in the Ministry still." Harry told him

"I feel as though the Prophecy was fake now. For I see my friends happiness and their willingness to so easily move on with their lives. I saw a young girl wait for me to come to her and it never happened. I see myself staying stuck in a past I know I ought to forget. But I can't…" harry said hoarsely as he knelt down on the snow-covered earth

"You are gone and yet all I want is for you to return but in a different form then before. There is a hole in my heart where my life was surrounded by you and the war that cannot be replaced. It so confusing…" He let a single tear escape one eye to roll down the cheek

The bitter wind then blew more soft as if the spirit of the deceased dark wizard had heard him calling.

Harry smiled somewhat now, "Yes, our dances with danger surrounding the other are done and the war has passed; but I cannot find peace here."

[Begin Tourniquet]

_I tried to kill the pain_

_But only brought more _

_(So much more)_

_I lay dying and I'm pouring_

_Crimson regret and betrayal_

_I'm dying (dying), _

_Praying (praying), _

_Bleeding (bleeding), _

_And screaming_

_Am I too lost to be saved? _

_Am I too lost? _

_My God, my tourniquet_

_Return to me salvation! _

_My God, my tourniquet_

_Return to me salvation! _

_Do you remember me? _

_Lost for so long_

_Will you be on the other side? _

_Or will you forget me? _

_I'm dying (dying), _

_Praying (praying), _

_Bleeding (bleeding), _

_And screaming_

_Am I too lost to be saved? _

_Am I too lost? _

_My God, my tourniquet_

_Return to me salvation! _

_My God, my tourniquet_

_Return to me salvation! _

_(Return to me salvation...)_

_(I want to die! )_

_My God, my tourniquet_

_Return to me salvation! _

_My God, my tourniquet_

_Return to me salvation! _

_My wounds cry for the grave_

_My soul cries for deliverance._

_Will I be denied? _

_Christ, tourniquet, my suicide._

_(Return to me salvation...)_

[End Tourniquet]

"Forgive me, Tom. This is so unlike me but I am so tired of being here and I long an eternity of peace. There is nothing left for me here so I pray if you are around somewhere in the spirit realm that you can forgive me" Harry said tired and weary

His hands drew a dagger from a sleeve and quickly slit his wrists. Red, warm blood coated the snow and dyed it with warmth. Harry's breath slowed and as the blood poured out; his breath became labored.

Soon his body was numb and as he took his last breath, he smiled and knew that once he crossed over that someone remembered him and wanted to begin a new and dangerous dance between them.

One that was of a different kind and yet not so different either.

His body lay slumped against his former nemesis's headstone and his head propped on his shoulder as he left the world behind.


End file.
